On the Plus Side, I Get a Pink T-Shirt

So, let me just cut to the chase: about six weeks ago, I got the shock of my life when I was diagnosed with cancer. Moi? What the what?!? Okay, so after I picked my jaw up off the floor, cried a lot of tears, and experienced a lot of scary thoughts, I tried to look on the bright side.

1. It was caught super, super early. That’s awesome. I’m not dying. I’m living.
2. I have really excellent doctors, whom I trust. Trust is so important, I think. I mean, sure – you always want “the best” when you’re dealing with something like this, but wouldn’t it be awful if you didn’t feel confident in “the best?” If you didn’t believe they were being straightforward, they didn’t listen to you, they didn’t answer your questions? Well, I lucked out on that score because my doctors are “the best” AND I trust them.
3. I believe I now possess the ultimate trump card.  A friend has a bad day at the office?  ”Aw, that sucks for you,” I say.  ”But guess what?  I have cancer, so shut it.”  I kid.  I would never exploit an illness like that…
4. Depending on how things go, there may be some awesome wigs in my future.  I was talking to my sister (and potential wig-shopping partner) about this, and we agreed that this might be the ideal time to go platinum.  As in blonde.  I’m digging it.
5. I’m getting at least a few weeks of rest out of the deal.  Sure, I’ll be at home recuperating from surgery, but this is a “bright side” post, folks.  So picture it:  I’ll be at home, catching all the “Law and Order” reruns I can stand (because you know how much I love that show), and I won’t be expected to “fob in” or look at a Blackberry.  Those of you in the business know how it works when we’re on vacation:  we say we’re “on vacation,” but we are constantly checking email.  It really is an addiction.  So all in all, I’d say this is a pretty sweet set-up.  Sure, I’ll be in pain but that’s why Big Pharma exists.
6. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  Suddenly, I’m not so replaceable at the office.  (cackle, cackle).  :-P
7. The downtime will allow me to start some new knitting projects.  A definite upside for me, but maybe not for the unsuspecting recipients (victims?) of my craft.  My poor niece.  Her poor mother.
8. And – most importantly – I see a pink t-shirt in my future.  Those of you who know me have probably heard me say this many times:  I’ll pretty much do anything for a t-shirt.  Run a 5K?  If there’s a t-shirt involved, sure.  Paint over graffiti on Earth Day?  Just hand me my t-shirt first.  Mud wrestle a pig?  Well, no one’s ever asked me to do that, but I would definitely consider it if the t-shirt was super-cool…and free.

So, upon further consideration I’d have to say yeah – there’s definitely a lot of upside here.  And not just for me.  You get an upside too.  Since I’ll be out of circulation for a few weeks (you know – shopping for wigs and such), you won’t have to read my silly musings.

Oh, and one more thing:  I hereby promise not to turn this into a cancer blog.  Nothing wrong with people blogging about their cancer (or other illnesses); it can be therapeutic.  That’s just not what I want to do.  I will definitely get back to commenting on all things metro DC, with a few minor changes.  Going forward, I’ll make sure to make it clear that I visited the Washington Monument…with cancer, or went to the Kennedy Center…with cancer.  I kid, I kid!  Seriously, I’m joking.  I would never do that.  Unless I also happen to be rocking the platinum blonde wig.  And a pink t-shirt.

Passport Publicity? Not Today!

I was in New York City last weekend for work.  A couple of colleagues and I headed north for the New York Times Travel Show.  It’s an annual event, and the Bureau of Consular Affairs likes to participate to show the flag and encourage people to apply for or renew their passports.  We also try to make contacts with other companies and organizations that might be good partners, and we  try to generate media interest in our messages.

Our booth at the New York Times Travel Show

Anyway, one of my co-workers and I decided that we’d take advantage of our location and try to get on The Today Show - with one of us dressed as “Passport Pat” – a giant, smiling blue passport book.  It seemed like a great idea when we talked about it in DC.  But I have to admit, I was dreading the idea of getting up at 4AM to stand in line to wait for The Today Show cameras to capture us.  It started to rain Friday night; we agreed that if it was raining when we woke up at 3:30, we wouldn’t go.

Passport Pat at the travel show

Now, here’s where I have to tell you about my colleague.  She’s young, energetic, creative, bright, and a lot of fun.  She was also very willing to dress up as Passport Pat.  She’s just a fantastic person.  So, I woke up at 3AM, looked out of my hotel room window, and decided it was raining.  I think I was actually willing the skies to open up.  I go back to sleep.  3:30AM – my phone rings.  It’s my co-worker, who sounds like she’s been up for hours.  She says, “Hi!  It’s not raining!  Do you still want to go?”  ”Great,” I think to myself, “a morning person.”  Sigh.

So yes, we go.  (As an aside, we reach the hotel lobby just in time to watch three drunk party girls attempt to find the exit – before they get thrown out – and hail a cab).  Anyway, we arrive at Rockefeller Plaza at around 4:45AM. There’s a line!  Good thing we got here early.  We join the queue and wait.  Eventually, some guy comes up behind us and asks, “Is this the line for Saturday Night Live tickets?”  Another guy ahead of us tells him it is.  Dammit!  We’re in the wrong line!  Okay, so where’s the line for The Today Show?

There.  Is.  No.  Line.  I repeat:  there is no line.  No one else is waiting to get on The Today Show plaza.  Contrary to all the information we found on the interwebs that said you should get there super early because the lines are long and crazy, we are the only ones standing around in the cold waiting to get on that damn show.  Fortunately, I am with one of the cheeriest people on earth, so we look on the bright side:  at least it’s not freezing cold; at least it’s not raining; at least we have fun stuff to talk about.

So we wait.

And wait.

Finally, at about 6:45AM, Security comes out and lets us in.  But first, we’re told that we can’t wear costumes.  Okay.  So we’ll just hold up Passport Pat like a sign.  Fine.  And, because we’re so early, we get a primo spot next to Lenny.  Guaranteed camera time.  We talk to the cameraman, build a rapport, tell him about Passport Day in the USA, etc.  Nice guy.  We got this.  Unfortunately (for us and for the people in the midwest), there were horrible storms and tornados the night before.  Many injuries and deaths.  Lester Holt is on scene in Indiana.  So of course, they’re not going to go from the devastating tornado stories to Rockefeller Plaza where a bunch of tourists are smiling and waving and holding up stupid signs.  Of course not!  The cameraman tells us that they’ll go to the Plaza after 8AM.  So we wait.  Have I mentioned that by now my feet hurt, my hands are cold, and I really just want to crawl back into bed? No?  Well, my feet hurt, my hands were cold, and I desperately wanted to go to sleep.

The cameraman pans half of the crowd.  He gets Lenny, my colleague, and Passport Pat – then cuts the feed before he gets to me.  Ugh!  Really dude!  Come on!  A little later, he does it again.  Should I be taking this personally?

Round about 8:25AM, we’re both ready to throw in the towel.  So many promises broken.  So much for national media for Passport Day.  So we pack it in.  By now there are crowds of people who are more than happy to take our prime location.  As we walk away from the plaza, the cameraman stops us.  ”Where are you going?” he says.  ”We’re just about to pan the crowd, the reporters are going to come out.”  We don’t believe him.  We’ve heard this line before.  We thank him, but tell him we’ve got to get going.  We get into a cab.

What do you think happened about two minutes later?  If you guessed that they panned the ENTIRE crowd on the plaza, you guessed right.  Dammit!!!!!

Me at Rock Plaza...before my feet hurt, my hands were cold, and I was too tired to stand up!

But hey – it’s not too late for the five or six of you who actually read my silly musings.  Passport Day in the USA is today, Saturday, March 10.  If you’d like to apply for a passport or if you need to renew yours, today is the one day of the year that you can visit one of our 25 domestic passport agencies without an appointment.  Or, you can go to one of the thousands of acceptance facilities (e.g., post offices, libraries) to apply.  Learn more about it here.

It’s a Road Trip Baby!

Road trips are in my blood.  My family has been taking them – driving to North Carolina to visit the grandparents or heading out West to see some of America’s treasures – since before I can remember.  We had a routine.  My dad was the primary driver, and he liked to start the trip at night – midnight or later.  I guess that made him – all of us, really – feel like we were getting a jump start on the day.  So he’d go to bed early and my mom would pull one of her old suitcases out of the attic for my sister and me to use.  (FYI – man, I wish she still had that set of luggage.  It was totally retro cool 1960′s.  I would love to use it today.  Sigh.)  Anyhoo, my sister and I were usually too excited to get much sleep.  Round midnight, Daddy would wake up, he’d pack up the car, and we’d be on our way.  Down through Oklahoma, cross Arkansas, up through Tennessee, and into North Carolina.  The Smokies are absolutely beautiful.

I was – literally and figuratively – the baby of the family.  I’m the youngest.  But I was also usually the one calling for bathroom breaks (or being too embarrassed to call for a bathroom break since we’d just stopped 10 minutes ago), or asking how much further or whatever.  Hey, I have a small and sensitive bladder!  Don’t judge me!  I’m sure I drove my mom and dad crazy.  So I was sort of a “road trip baby” in that respect.  (Seriously, to this day whenever I have to go on a long trip I cut off liquids the night before.  One of these days I’ll have to tell you about my first road trip in Albania!)

But I recently had a new and completely different road trip experience with a real road trip baby.  My sister, her six-month old daughter, and I drove to North Carolina to visit our parents.  It takes about 6 hours to get from here to there.  Maybe you stop once for the bathroom and once for food.  Or if your bladder cooperates, you take care of both at the same time.  Not so, with a baby.  Of course you have to stop when she gets hungry.  You have to stop when she needs a diaper change.  You have to stop when she gets cranky.  (She gets tired of being strapped into that car seat – wouldn’t you?)  So, obviously, all these stops lengthen the trip.

I love this baby.  She gorgeous, smart, funny – everything you’d want in a niece.  And she burps like a champion.  Because of all of this, I’m willing to put up with the frequent stops.  But I have to draw the line somewhere.  Here’s where:  we stopped at a rest stop in Virginia and I’m holding my niece while my sister goes to the restroom.  My niece has had some milk, she’s burped like a champion, so now we’re just hanging out and chit-chatting.  She’s sitting on my lap, of course.  Out of nowhere, like some sort of alien being, she lets out a heavy stream of milky spit-up right. on. my. lap.  Nice.  And really comfy.  I immediately order my sister to take. her. child.  Ugh.  Babies.  Suddenly, I’m the road trip baby again!  Let me tell you, driving the rest of the way in wet, milky jeans was not fun.

That said, I’d take another road trip with those two any day.  I love that kid.  And my sister is awesome.  Next time though, I’ll wear a raincoat.

Do you have a crazy/funny/wonderful road trip story?  Were you the road trip baby in your family?  Tell me all about it.

Oh – by the way, I finally decided to get with the program and get a Twitter account.  Follow me…@DiploStatus.

2011: My Year in Review

Happy New Year!  So, I’m a little late in getting my “year in review” post out there – as if you haven’t already read a zillion of them in  your local newspaper, weekly magazine, or favorite gossip website.  Whatever, I’ve been busy.  So sue me.

Anyway – fair warning:  this is not your standard “look at what all the celebrities did in 2011″ year in review.  This is about my year in review.  Along with some topical, public domain, infotainment, real-deal history stuff because I need to snark a bit and I gotta do something to attract more readers.  Hee.

2011 was my “year of yes.”  It was my first full year back in Washington, DC after 7 years overseas and I really wanted to take advantage of my time here, to get out and explore the metropolitan DC area and to sink my teeth into the social life.  How’d I do?  Eh, there’s always room for improvement, but I think I did okay.  Let’s break it down:

January:  The Arab Spring begins in Tunisia.  Demonstrations – with varying levels of success – follow in Egypt, Yemen, Morocco, and Bahrain.  It’s an exciting time in the Middle East.  This translates into an exciting time for consular work, because you know Americans love to travel and we turn up in the most unlikely places.  I wasn’t on the ground in any of these countries helping to evacuate American citizens, but I did work on one of the many task forces set up here in Washington to monitor the situation on the ground.  Terrific learning experience for me.  January was also when I visited the National Archives with my colleagues and commented on my confusion about Trader Joe’s – which I have to formally retract.  I recently made a commitment to eat healthier – organic foods and whatnot – and I have to say, I get it now.  Although my local Trader Joe’s is a nightmare in terms of parking and the layout of the store, it is my go-to place for grocery shopping.  So, to all the Trader Joe’s fans out there:  I’m sorry.  Also, actor Pete Postlethwaite died on January 2.  I think I first saw Postlethwaite in “In the Name of the Father,” which is a terrific film.  He was also in “The Usual Suspects,” and more recently “Inception” and “The Town.”  If you are not familiar with him – shame on you.  Stop reading this article right now, get on Netflix or Hulu or whatever, and put one of his films in your queue.

February:  My introduction to punk.

March:  Japan was hit by a triple-whammy.  First, an earthquake.  Which triggered a tsunami.  Which led to a meltdown at a nuclear plant.  Yikes.  Tough times in Japan = another task force in Washington.  Another overnight shift for me.  I traveled to San Diego for a conference – I’d never been there before and thought it was a great city.  The zoo is pretty amazing, although I did experience a little bit of sticker shock.  It’s like $40 to get into that zoo!  I live in the DC area – our zoo is free!  Although, I suppose the National Zoo could look like the San Diego Zoo if we charged everyone $40 to get in.  Something to think about.  I also knitted my first hat.

April:  So, in my effort to “get out there,” I started looking for interesting stuff to do on the weekends.  In April, I went to the Kite Festival on the Mall.  Good times.  Took forever to get that kite in the air, but we finally succeeded.  Yay!  There were lots of kids and adults out there flying kites, but I gotta say:  I think the adults were having more fun.  Nothing like reverting to childhood, am I right?  In other news, those crazy “birthers” kept hammering away about President Obama’s birth certificate, so he released the long form this month.  Another royal wedding in the UK.  Which meant that this was the top news story on the networks for days.  Really?  Really?  Remind me:  why do we care about this again?  I mean, yeah – it’s great – Prince William got married.  All the best to you, sir.  But this is the United States.  I mean, we fought for our independence so that we wouldn’t have to care about this stuff.  And yet, apparently, we do.

May: Seal Team Six.  That is all.

June:  It’s June 2011 and the GOP debates begin.  God save us.  More than a year in advance of the 2012 elections.  It’s the height of the tourist season in DC.  This is a great city for tourists – everything is free!  And there’s so much to see.  My one wish is that the tourists could learn a little Metro etiquette.  Well, you know how I feel about that.  Hey, WMATA, would it kill you to put up a few signs to remind people to stand on the right on the escalators?  I also knitted a pair of socks.

July:  July 4.  Independence Day.  A terrific day for sleeping in, celebrating with friends and family, and watching fireworks.  This was the first July 4 in 7 years where I did not have to do one darn thing.  I didn’t have to attend an Embassy party.  I didn’t have to get dressed up.  I didn’t have to talk “shop” with representatives from the host country government.  It was nice to just be lazy at home.  I had the best burger of my life at Ray’s Hellburger.  Have you been yet?  If not, stop reading, bookmark this page, and get over there.  You can thank me later.  I knitted a kick-ass sweater.   I have to say, I really love it when I get crafty and the project actually turns out well.  Okay, it’s not perfect – it fits a little big – but it’s pretty darn good for a first attempt.  Amy Winehouse died.  Bummer.

August:  Hurricane Irene brought a lot of rain to the east coast.  But the big news was the earthquake.  What the…?  I remember it like it was yesterday:  I was sitting in my office talking to a colleague, when all of a sudden everything started to sway.  We looked at each other, looked out the big plate glass window next to us (yikes!), looked at each other again and wondered what the heck just happened.  After the building stopped swaying, we decided it might be a good idea to head outside.  We joined hundreds of others standing on the street with our cell phones, trying to text or email friends and family, or check to the internet to find out what had happened.  Of course, it was impossible to send or receive messages:  system overload.  We eventually learned we’d just experienced a 5.8 magnitude earthquake.  Get out!  Kim Kardashian got married!!!!  Why do we care about this again?  Why are these people famous?  Seriously – I do not get this one.  I do not care about them, so I won’t even link to anything about them.  I’m not even going to use the name as a tag for this post!  Get a job, Kardashians.  Most importantly, the best, brightest, and prettiest niece in the world was born in August.

September:  My subscription to AFI Talk Cinema kicked in.  If you live in a city that offers this program, I highly recommend it.  Subscribers go to a not-yet-released film screening, watch it, then talk about it afterward in a moderator-led discussion.  I saw some really interesting movies that I probably never would have gone to see on my own:  “Hermano,” “Melancholia,” “The Artist.”  I also saw a few that I was kind of “meh” about (“Like Crazy” and “Carnage”), but I’m still glad I had the experience.  I may do it again next year.   People around the world started occupying various streets, parks, and other locales to protest stuff.  Ah yes, I (vaguely) remember when I was young and idealistic.  Now, I’m just a jaded crone.

October:  My birthday month!  Yay, for me still being alive!  Kim Kardashian files for divorce.  This is what you get for caring America.  And yet, there are some people out there who think that it’s same-sex marriages that will destroy us all.  Hmmmm.  And the St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series in 7.  I haven’t watched baseball since I left Atlanta (I loved to go to Braves games), but I guess this was a big deal.

November:  Holiday travel.  GAH!!!!!

December:  It’s Christmas.  Hope you spent time with friends and family, and remembered what the season is all about.  I did.

So, that’s my year in a nutshell.  Some things I got right:  exploring a little bit of the DC area, trying new things, and embracing my inner geek.  But there’s still room for improvement.  2012 will be “Year of Yes 2.0.”

How was your 2011?

The Unwritten Airplane Code

Okay, I’ve been neglecting this blog for quite a while. I’m busy and I’m lazy…so you know it had to be something good to get me back on the interwebs.

It’s the holiday season, y’all. Thanksgiving is just around the corner, and the rush to the interstate and the airports has begun. Everyone is traveling. Depending on when you start your travels, mass transit will be packed, traffic will be backed up, and the lines at the airport will be crazy! I’ll be heading to the airport tomorrow afternoon.

Now, I consider myself a seasoned traveler. I travel quite a bit for work. I feel pretty confident in navigating my way through any airport. I’ve learned to get there early, to be patient, to be kind, and to be thankful for those who are performing a truly thankless job. That’s why I’m a little cheesed off about something I heard yesterday.

Someone I know reported that he/she (gender neutral to protect the guilty) headed off on vacation yesterday with six other people. This person reported that each member of the group got through the airport and to their destination with two carry-ons each. Now, I admit, I don’t know all the details, but in the context of the report, the “carry-ons” sounded like two suitcases. This is important. Why? Like I said, I travel a lot – which means I have listened to the gate agents many, many times as they explain what one is allowed to bring on the plane. It is true: a traveler is allowed to bring two carry-on items. However, in my experience, the gate agent always explains what “two carry-on items” means: a suitcase and a briefcase, a suitcase and a purse, maybe even a suitcase and small shopping bag. I have never, ever heard a gate agent say that it’s okay to bring two suitcases on board as carry-on items. That said, I’m sure it happens. But it shouldn’t. Why? Because I and probably every other passenger on the plane are just as anxious to make our connections, to get to our destination and not have to worry about lost luggage, and to avoid paying the stupid checked bag fee. Overhead bin space is at a premium. We all want it. So it totally sucks when a group of seven people get on the plane with FOURTEEN carry-on items.

And frankly, I think it violates the Unwritten Airplane Code. You know what I’m talking about. It’s the code that says we’re all in this together. The one that causes total strangers to turn to each other in the security line, roll their eyes, sigh and smile as they are asked to remove their shoes yet again. The one that leads the person traveling alone to trade seats with the mom a few rows back so that she can sit next to her kids. The one that says my travel plans and your travel plans are equally important, so let’s work together to make sure we both get to our destinations with as little discomfort and inconvenience as possible. It’s the one that says it is really, really uncool to board with two “carry-on” suitcases when you know you should have checked one!  Remember that code?

I get it. Believe me, I get it. The airlines continue to find new and exciting ways to screw the 99 percent. We’ve already paid through the nose for the privilege of being packed onto glorified cattle cars to get to our destination, and we’re lucky if we’re offered a packet of stale peanuts for our trouble. Would you like a cocktail to get you through this experience in a comfortable, mind-numbing haze? Hope you brought a fat roll of singles, cuz it’s gonna cost you. You’ve found a way to strike back. You’ve found a loophole and you are going to exploit it. Two carry-ons? Yes, sure. So what if the suitcase doesn’t fit into that little carry-on size checker at the gate? So what if your “purse” is the size of a large Macy’s bag? You’ve outfoxed The Man! Shove it, airlines!

So yeah – I get it. But it’s still not cool. By ignoring the Unwritten Airplane Code, you’ve managed to make everyone else’s trip a little more trying. Thanks for that. And congratulations.

So to all of you holiday travelers out there, I’m begging you: please, please abide by the Unwritten Airplane Code. Get there early. Keep smiling. Tap into your patience reserves. Share the overhead bins. And live by The Code.

Here’s to Me, On My Birthday!

It’s my birthday tomorrow, so you know what that means:  time to get reflective.  I’m sure you know the drill; this feeling seems to come around every decade or so, depending on what your personal “landmarks” are.  Like, “I’m 30 years old and why am I not a vice president at this bank?  Why don’t I own a house?”  Or, “I’m 35.  Where is my career going?  Why am I still single?” And then “Oh shit.  I’m 40.  How the f*!% did this happen?”

So here we go again.  :-)  I start to question everything:  my career, my marital status, my homeownership or lack thereof.  My social life, my interests, the books I’m reading (or not reading), the car I’m driving, my weight, and now something new:  my retirement account.  You know, I thought I had serious crises of confidence about my career, but nothing freaks me out more than thinking about my retirement account and how it is or is not growing.  That’s one of those things that will really keep you up at night.

What about my weight?  My face?  Is it time to start buying all of those nighttime creams and wrinkle removers and skin tighteners that people like Diane Keaton are trying to sell me?  Am I “worth it?”  And why is that doughnut I ate yesterday now permanently attached to my ass?  Gray hair?  Oh don’t even get me started!

And the market, and the politics!  Social Security?  Health care?  All those things that I don’t think about that I have to think about now that I’m in the U.S.  Like where’s the Health Unit?  Oh, right – I guess I have to find a primary care physician.  Where to begin?  And mortgages, appraisals, and interest rates.  Yikes!

So, I’m well on my way to a major freakout, when something suddenly occurs to me:  my life is pretty terrific.  I get to travel around the world doing something that I love doing.  I have a great family.  I have a roof over my head and food in the fridge.  I have wonderful friends and a sweet old cat.  I have my health.  I don’t have wrinkles and I have a fantastic stylist who covers the gray.  And I am really smart.

So, yeah:  I’m pretty awesome.   And for those of you who were wondering, I’ll be 41 tomorrow and I look incredible.  ;-P

In the Labor Day Broadcast System, There Are Two Separate, Yet Equally Important Groups…

It’s Labor Day.  I like Labor Day.  I might even love Labor Day.  As long as I can remember, Labor Day has meant certain, unalienable rules:

1. Put your white clothes and shoes in the closet until next summer.  I get it – in the olden days, the fact that one could switch from the browns and blacks of fall and winter to the light colors of spring and summer was an indication of wealth.  Those rules no longer apply in the modern era.  Don’t care.  I’m a southern girl at heart, and I think it looks weird to wear white after Labor Day.  Put it away.
2. School’s about to start.  Or if it’s already started, you gotta get serious after Labor Day.  Before Labor Day, you could still be a bit unfocused and carefree about schoolwork.  But after Labor Day, it’s for real.  You’ve got the whole fall semester ahead of you.  Time to get cracking.
3. Three-day weekend.  Yay!  Sleep in, linger over your coffee, take off for a weekend of bliss.  Whatever floats your boat.
4. Barbecue!  That’s right.  Labor Day + Daddy = Barbecue.  Could be ribs, brisket, steaks, or all of the above.  And I’m sorry – but nobody barbecues like my dad.  I challenge you to top his ribs.  Prepare to go home in tears, because you can’t do it.
5. Fall is coming.  This is a big one, especially if your summers are hot and humid, as mine often were.  Knowing that the cool and crisp autumn temperatures are just around the corner makes the last few days of heat and humidity bearable.
6. Law & Order marathon.  This show had been on the air for twenty years – can you believe that?  Twenty years – half my life!  And then a number of networks picked it up in syndication:  TNT, A&E, I think USA had it for a while before they began devoting all of their free air time to SVU.  And you could always count on some channel, somewhere doing a Labor Day Law & Order marathon.  Good times.

So I woke up this morning – early, thanks to my cat who doesn’t understand that I don’t have to go to work today and I could actually sleep in (but I digress), exercised a bit, showered dressed, ate a little breakfast, and flipped on the TV, ready to settle into a nice long L&O marathon.  (A marathon, incidentally, in which I would be able to recall the outcome of the case before the opening credits – it’s a talent.  A useless talent?  Perhaps.  But everybody’s got to have something. I’m the Idiot Savant of Law & Order).  But I digress again.  So I’m settled in, checking the cable guide because someone must know that L&O on the holiday is a tradition and….nothing.  Nada.  Niente.  Zippo.  Where the heck is my Law & Order?

Talk about ruining a perfect weekend…thanks for nothing TV broadcasters.

With Dignity and Respect

I’ve lived in the DC area – off and on – for almost ten years now, and I realized that I had never been to Arlington Cemetery.  That’s a serious oversight.  Last weekend I finally visited.  The first thing I noticed (aside from the crowds of tourists) were the signs everywhere reminding us of where we were and asking us to behave accordingly:  with dignity and respect.

It wasn’t difficult to do.  The monuments and markers are sobering.  Oversized gravestones paying tribute to career military men alongside the small faded stones marking the resting place of a Civil War infantryman.  And in the middle of it all, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier – a tribute to the “anonymous” men and women who gave their lives for their country.

My takeaway from my visit is this:  no matter your views and opinions on Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam or any other war/conflict involving the U.S., I think we can all agree that a place like Arlington Cemetery is important.  It’s important for us to honor them, to remember…and maybe we’ll make wiser choices in the future, so that there will be fewer white stones on the cemetery grounds.

Hell Yes, I Want Fries with That!

So I’ve kind of made it my unofficial mission to sample all the top burger joints in the DC area.  Those of you who read this blog on a semi-regular basis (thanks Daddy!) may recall that a while back I went on and on about Five Guys vs. Elevation Burger.  Each had its pros and cons.  Well, today I think I may have gone to burger heaven.  Or hell.

Before today, I had never been to Ray’s Hell Burger.  Yeah, I know – it’s hard for me to believe it too!  I think that in some respects, restaurants can be like a city’s historical attractions. You know they are there, you’ve heard good things about them, and you figure you will get to them eventually.  And then you never do.  Even our President managed to hit Ray’s Hell Burger before I did – twice!

I visited Ray’s Hell Burger Too – the sit-down restaurant extension of Ray’s Hell Burger on Wilson Blvd. in Arlington.  Let me give you an understanding of its popularity.  The joint opened at 11AM; I got there around 12:30PM and it was already packed and people were standing outside waiting for tables.  Fortunately, there was not a long wait for a table for little ol’ me.  Here’s what I liked about Ray’s:  they keep it simple.  The menus are on one sheet of colored paper.  The manager probably prints them in the back on the office computer, using paper he picked up from Staples.  The selections are straightforward:  burger or burger.  They don’t even bother to put the soft drinks in a glass.  You want a Coke?  They bring you a bottle.

How was the burger, you ask?  Oh my God, you guys – I think that was the best burger I’ve ever had.  The famous Hell Burger is huge – like 10 ounces.  Way too much for me, so I had the L’il Devil, which is only about 6 ounces.  Mine was “au poivre” – which means that the cook pressed the patty into cracked black peppercorns before grilling – with lettuce, tomato, pickles, and red onions.  I also had a side of skin-on fries.  (They also offer sweet potato fries, but I just do not get that.  Don’t get me wrong – I am a fan of the sweet potato.  But when I want a french fry, I want a REAL french fry!)  But I digress.  The burger came out quickly and it was cooked to perfection.  It was piping hot, but it was clear that they added the onion, lettuce, and tomato right before they brought the burger to my table, because the veggies were still crisp.  Nothing spoils an awesome burger like wilted lettuce.  The peppercorn added a nice flavor and kick.  The fries were really good:  crisp, lightly salted, piping hot.  Prices were reasonable, too.

So after all of that, I totally get the lines out the door.  I’d totally sell my soul for another one.  :-)

Check out Ray’s Hell Burger and let me know what you think.

Vacation = Relaxation

I think a change of scene is always good.  Especially if the new scene leads to relaxation.  I’m on Day 4 of my week-long vacation on Virginia’s Eastern Shore.  As the distance between me and the DC area increased, I could feel the stress decrease.  Ah, bliss.  I’m staying with family in a lovely house on the water in Greenbackville, VA.  I can smell the salt water and feel the salt-laden ocean breeze that comes in from Chincoteague Bay.  On my first morning here, I stepped out onto the deck to find a low layer of fog, which created a bit of an optical illusion.  It seemed like our pier was floating in mid-air.

I’m using this vacation as my week to “get healthy.”  I’ve been biking in the mornings, working out in the pool with my sis, and (mostly) eating right!  I feel so great that I don’t even want to be snarky today!  Sorry folks.  :-)

Do I have to go back?